Today is "DAY O" and I am scared to death, but also hopeful. I have not been hopeful for a long time, four years long actually, perhaps longer. I am in the ending stages of my latest bout of depression that started Sept 2016, yep it is May, now. Counting on my fingers that tells me that depression stole a good portion of the last 9 months. Things got particularly dark with my health and depression by November, which basically could have been the end of my life. I have spiked up and down and fought other health and personal issues since January which has brought me here, to today.
Today I managed to do everything on my "To Do" list. Yay - 10/10
To someone not struggling with mental health that may not seem like a real accomplishment, however, for myself, getting out of my space is not easy. This will be the last time I "apologise" for that. My depression is emotionally paralyzing and my own health is always the first thing I neglect. Work, commitments, other peoples needs and almost every other distraction comes first. I'm no martyr though, I often get angry and frustrated with what people expect from me and then become over sensitive and hurt by their demands and expectations or lack of reciprocation.
1. Water - Yes
2. Yoga - 30 minutes
3. Walk - 5000 steps
4. Grateful - I told my sister I love her. She lives very far away and I admire her and her wisdom.
5. Create - Mosaic
6. Be still - I adore Cole Chance. Her story and yoga vibe resonates with me. If you are looking for your first try at meditation I would suggest her "Be Still". Be patient with yourself and the process.
7. Positive - I am ready to forgive myself.
8. NO junk - Yes9. Fix - Totes, organised some brick
10. Pleasure - Music
Tomorrow is Mother's Day and the first day of the 30 Days of Brave.
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