2. Yoga - Half hour
3. Walk - Yes
4. Be grateful - I am grateful for strangers compliments and flirting.
5. Build/Create - Plants/Flowers w/E
6. Be still - Yes
7. Positive - I am optimistic.
8. NO junk - Way too many Lime Rickies
9. "Fix" - Brickfete.
10. Seek pleasure. - Flirting, Dancing
9/10
Todays Brave Act -
Commit to one uncomfortable conversation today. Feeling out of place? Don't worry, the other person is too.
Well how convenient??? I actually had a few of these today. One in the morning, the other in the evening.
First one was reaching out to the past, asking to work out the last few loose ends. Mildly rejected like usual, basically a "nothing more to see here move along" moment. I was sad for a sec... but then I realized. no Im not sad... Im just over it... being controlling and dismissive is the way he is, so why should I care? I will work through these last details just as we worked through everything in our relationship. ON HIS TERMS. Sigh.
The second one was the complete opposite. Once again reaching out to have a convo with the past, but this one turned out to way awesome... Humbling but oh sooo fun. Two hours of old times have lead to trying on some new times for fun. However the choice to drink while doing so was probably not my wisest move, as now Im trying to write this post half in the bag and tormented by friends that are distracting me. I love the prospect of this call I took... however I am walking slowly and treading carefully.
I am eager to invite others to take part in my brave adventure because though it all, memories and goals are much more satisfying when savored. From best friends to complete strangers, I listen sincerely because each perspective brings its own unique value. An attitude of understanding removes limiting barriers and allows for mutual constructive growth. I always seek to recognize the potential in others and will encourage them in their own brave intentions.
Journal Prompts
What conversation do I need to have that I’ve been putting off?
The convo I started this morning is the one I have been putting of. Its ugly, and difficult, and it hurts. When you love someone with every single thing you have to give and they break you and then throw you out like your are trash, sucks... but the worst part is the fact that I bought into all the lies told to me. The lies broke me. The lies stole my will to live. The lies made me hate myself. I have been fighting this whole time to bring back me... and Im almost here. Im dating, Im laughing, Im loving, Im working, and Im dancing in my underwear.... however things are not FINISHED and its nagging me and controlling me, and I need it to end. I will do it on his terms for a few days, but not long, Im at the end of my rope with this deal.
What am I scared of that has prevented me from having this conversation?
My fear has not kept me from having this convo, the other person is preventing me from having it. Blocking me, refusing calls... If things are not worked out by next week, when this challenge ends, so will my effort to actually have this convo. It can be solved in other ways... I dont want to be pushed into that direction, but this is not a threat... when you break someone over and over, they either are down and out, or they rise stronger, wiser and ready to take what is rightly theirs.
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