Day 10 - Curiouser and Curiouser

One third complete this journey. 

1. Water - Yes

2. Yoga - 30 

3. Walk - No

4. Be grateful - I am grateful for my safety.  

5. Build/Create - No

6. Be still - Link

7. Positive - I am curious and courageous.  

8. NO junk - Yes

9. "Fix" -. Living room - part 1

10. Seek pleasure. - Afternoon/evening with K. 

8/10

30 Day Action 

3 whys - Pushing past canned surface responses.

30 Day Journal Prompt(s) -  

A recent fear that I would like to overcome… Why does this fear make me feel scared and uncomfortable?

I would like to be able to trust people.  I find it hard to trust others because I have been lied to so many times in the past.  I'm scared to trust because I want to believe in people so much that somehow when they lie I feel bad  about myself.  I feel like I have failed, or returned once again to that place of 'not being enough'.  I'm not sure why I struggle with the fact that people lie for their own reasons and it really should not make me feel bad about myself. 

Why does matter to me that I overcome this fear?

This fear is making it difficult to connect with people and accept them for who they are.  

Why have I been previously been unable to overcome this fear? 

Im not sure, I think I have overcome it numerous times however I am finding now that even it takes less of a lie, or broken commitment to stir up the bad feelings.  I believe that I have been trying to be someone that a person wouldn't want to lie to.  Feeling somewhere that if I live my life with open and shared honesty the same would be returned.  I think now I need to learn to live my life with the same open honesty but to lose any expectations of it being returned to me.  I think I need to finally realise that no matter who I am, its never going to really change, help, save or fix broken people I allow in my life.  

Random Ponderings -

"You can never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore."

Responding to fear with investigation develops an awareness that favors courageous action. Each time I let go of the need to be right and stay in that vulnerable place of uncertainty, I am embracing the kind of curiosity that enables positive change to occur.