Day 18 - Dance like no one is watching.

1. Water - Yes
2. Yoga -  I full hour (very proud)
3. Walk - Yes /E
4. Be grateful -  I am grateful for new/old friend C.
5. Build/Create - Rage doodled.
6. Be still - Yes
7. Positive - I am adventurous.
8. NO junk - Yes
9. "Fix" - Two totes and cleaned kitchen.
10. Seek pleasure. - I "Callie"d myself.
10/10

Brave Act - 
The next stranger that crosses your path ask them the first genuine question that comes to mind.  

Im not afraid to talk to strangers, in fact I quite welcome it.  I asked some random person what they love and hate about this small town I live in.  Their answer was "everything" and "nothing".  It was short, and sweet but lacked the authenticity I seek.  Which is exactly what I hate about this town, no one rocks the boat.

My perception of the world and belief in what is possible is not limited by the interpretation of others. It is through direct experience that I develop a concrete understanding of my own reality. This develops a confidence at a cellular level that enables me to freely and courageously navigate any adventure. I know I might not find the answer or reach the destination I set out for, but this quest of inquiry will at least open myself up to a mystery that’s meant to be lived.

Journal Prompts -  
What assumed truth has fearfully prevented me from taking action?

No one will love me, the real me.  Not friends, I have lots of love from friends, and my close family, I mean a life partner.

What personal experience could give me a better understanding this fear?

The 48 years of rejection, the 27 year argument, the wage I earn, my upbringing, my fear of never being enough, fighting to be heard, to be respected, to just be.  I don't want to think about experiences that lead to this fear.  Why do these journal prompts focus on the negative??? Aren't we supposed to be changing our inner voice to a positive one??? I want to rise above these fears.  For my own self worth is a enough to rise above every single voice that is discouraging or hateful.

Random Ponderings - 
I have always identified with the fictional "Callie Torres" from GA... and the "bit" about her no longer dancing in her underwear because of how unhappy she was, and life had a hold on her... and her moving on by herself, finally letting go and embracing her self, her curves, imperfectly perfect, sexy and oh so beautiful.  This has always been an inspiration.

Yoga, dance and art may save my life... but until then, I call dibs!