Day 11 - Fear Factory and Fictitious Friends

1. Water - Yes
2. Yoga - 30
3. Walk - Very short
4. Be grateful - My classroom
5. Build/Create - MASH layout
6. Be still - Yes
7. Positive - I am compassionate (even to myself).
8. NO junk - Yes
9. "Fix" - Dinning Room
10. Seek pleasure. - Class
9.5/10

30 Day Action - Face a fear.  Meet it with compassion and kindness.  Remind yourself the fear is only to keep you safe.  Remind yourself you are safe and let go of the fear.

30 Day Journal Prompt(s) -  
Write a note to yourself from the perspective of an unconditionally loving imaginary friend:

Dear Janey,

I can tell you have been having a bit of a rough time with depression over the past year or two.  I just wanted to write to you to let you know I think you are an amazingly strong person to keep the fight up.  I know the way you have been treated by a few select people and the truth is that you do not deserve that sort of toxic behavior being thrown in your face.  True friends do not take your life into their hands, they do not put you down for things that make you beautiful and they do not make you feel worthless.  I know there is a part of you that can still fight, and I am asking you to do so.  To continue on your journey, to fix the issues you feel are a problem, but when push comes to shove, remember this... all the personalities that you have been told are ugly or undesirable are also the personalities that let you keep fighting for what you believe in.

Your anger comes from deep passion, not the will to be hurtful.
Your sadness comes from the need to be loved, not the will to manipulate.
Your control issues come from the need to be safe, not the will to dominate.
Your fight comes from the abandonment, not the will to have an argument.
Your disagreement comes from the need to be heard, not prove someone wrong.

While you are working to tame these "ugly" parts, please do not lose yourself in the process.  If someone makes you a priority they will understand and embrace your passion, love, need to be seen and safe and abandonment fears. You deserve this in your life because you have so much to offer an other person.  Your kind soul takes care of everyone you love, you will bend over backwards for people you include in your life, that alone should be enough, but you arrive with so much more.  You bring, humour, love, talent, intelligence, emotional intelligence and support to the table, as well as a great sense of adventure, a passion for the arts, education and mental health, a drive for life long learning, and tons of sexual excitement.  Someone would be lucky to have those things brought into their life, because yes, you are enough.

Love. your friend always,
Penelope

Random Ponderings - Alcohol even in small amounts seems to give me headaches.  Are these physical reactions or do these headaches stem from stress around what alcohol means?   P.S. Writing a letter from a fictitious friend seems a bit delusional.  Not a "fan" of today's journal prompt.